I basically dropped off this blog for 4 months. Things got a little hectic in the last quarter or so of 2011. Courses got intense, I went through a bit of a down time, and well--life kind of just moved too fast. I've just come back to Melbourne from a 2 week sojourn in the USA, and the trip has set a bunch of stuff running around my head.
Being back in Boston was an emotionally and spiritually fulfilling period, even though it only lasted 4 days. I was able to catch up with old and important friends, and practice some yoga at my spiritual home. I felt, in those 4 days, as though my gas tank was filling up again.
I got to thinking how important it is to be in a city or a place where you are near the people who mean the most to you, where you feel spiritually nourished, and where the heart feels at home. On reflection, this means that Melbourne is not home.
From a personal perspective, the Remedial Therapies & Yoga courses here have given me a new lease of life--people around me here and those who saw me in the states, claim to have seen significant emotional growth. But Melbourne has one massive and key downside: Australia is in the middle of butt-fuck-nowhere. It takes 18 hours to get to the East coast of the USA. It is, simply, too far from my spiritual homes and the core "Fabian's Jedis" group that is so vital to me.
So here's my decision: I won't be staying here. Yes, I have met some wonderful people here--whom I hope to be life long friends with--and they know who they are. But I don't feel "at home" here.
I stand by my decision to leave Boston and come here. I had gotten to a point there, where i was emotionally and spiritually stagnating....I was in a massive rut, and I was not happy. My relationship was on the verge of tipping into death throes--if it hadn't already done so, and I felt lost. I needed to go somewhere completely different. I have grown emotionally here--because I have been way, way, way out of my comfort zone--and I needed to be out of said comfort zone--I never had been before.
It has been emotionally challenging and at the same time, draining to be here. Some aspects of my self-care, including my fitness have suffered because of the energy that has been needed to maintain sanity in the midst of this emotional challenge....and we all know that Fabs is an emotional eater.
But I feel lighter now that the decision has been made. So...4 months left to go. So my resolutions for 2012 are to figure out where to end up, whether the UK, mainland Europe or North America--nearer to those dearest to me; to maintain this blog, which is so cathartic for me; to let go of a few things i still need to get shot of, and to get myself in the best condition of my life by the time i leave.
I'll see you all in 2012. Love and Peace to the Jedis. Again...you know who you are.
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