Monday, 22 August 2011

Great Quote, Lessons Learned & Melancholy

A few days ago, I heard, yes, for those of you who're wondering, on a U2 video on youtube, the following quote:

"We, this people on a small and lonely planet, traveling through casual space, past a new star, across the way of indifferent suns, to a destination where all science tells us it is possible and imperative that we learn a grave and startling truth: We this people on this small and drifting planet, whose hands can strike with such abandon, that in a twinkling life is sapped from the living...Yet those same hands can touch with such healing,  irresistible tenderness...that the heart innate is happy to bow, and the bowed head, is glad to bend. Out of such chaos, such contradiction we learn that we are neither devils nor divine. When we come to it, we, this people on this wayward floating body, creator on this earth, of this earth, have the power to fashion for this earth a climate where every man, every woman can live freely without sanctimonious piety, without crippling fear. When we come to it, we must confess that we are the possible, we are the miraculous we are the true wonder of this world."

It brought me back to thinking about writing something. I've been absent for the past month or so. Its been difficult. I've been reading a book called "Stop Walking on Eggshells." I don't want to go into too much detail, look up the title if you're interested. Suffice it to say, its got tons of highlighted sections, and its answering a lot of questions about my last relationship. But at the same time, it has, at times, put me in a melancholy mood. There have been huge changes in my life the last 6 months--ending what, ultimately was an unhealthy relationship, moving to a new country, moving onto a new track in life. There have been times when it has been incredibly lonely. Not because I don't have wonderful friends and supporters. But because like everyone else, I crave that someone special. Someone to cuddle up to, to hold and to be held, to share in the intimacies and craziness of this planet. Close, amazing, life long friendships are still something different than that.

At the same time, the book has increased my self awareness to the point that I am now definitive on the idea that I don't want to get into a relationship just for the sake of having someone--its not worth the risk of getting stuck with another unhealthy individual. So, I guess I'll just have to swallow, a little,  or at least for the time being, the loneliness in regards to that someone special, and let the universe do its work...as hard, and as frustrating as that sometimes is, and have faith that somewhere out there, is a wonderful woman, who will complement me and adore me for who I am.

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As you all know, I am, generally speaking, a bit of a loner, a bit of an introvert. A few weeks ago, someone told me that I needed to try to be more extroverted. It made me mad. Why should I change because someone projects their own fucking insecurities and life views onto me? When i discussed this with a counselor, she didn't say anything, she simply handed me this sheet, which speaks volumes.

Top ten myths about introverts 

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. 

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.











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